Aside from social justice warriors who blatantly co-opt other people’s right to be offended, the worst kind of person, whom I’d try to avoid like ebola, is the blusterer who unreservedly — and undeservedly — makes claims to distinction without a smidgeon of embarrassment. I’d rather be in the company of an absolute cretin.

I at one point found myself unfortunate enough to have had to listen to a pretentious blowhard who fancied herself a horological aficionado. The imbecile kept giddily bloviating about her new rolex, which now, looking back, seems to me to be of questionable authenticity. The thing scarcely needed adjusting, I was told, because “Rolex”, and so was accurate — as if accuracy was ever the point of a 5 thousand-dollar watch. I pointed out that a 10 dollar quartz watch at a flea market is more accurate, and was met by her with a look of utter befuddlement. Her jaw gaped with incredulity as though what I just said was so insanely outrageous. How can a watch, nay, a ‘timepiece’, worth thousands of dollars be in any way inferior to something worth little more than a wad of gum?! — I imagined she was thinking. Of course, it’s not like I was unravelling for her plebeian mind some mystery of the universe; one even needn’t have a thing for watches to know this piece of inconsequential tidbit; any sufficiently self-aware midwit knows that Casios, pound for pound, tell better time than Rolexes — the consequence of using a quartz mechanism over a more complicated mechanical one. She knew zero of any of this, despite her constant posturing as a horological enthusiast with cultivated tastes. The addled-brained git..

These are the type of windbags I find difficult to abide. And social media seems to be an enabler of this kind of windbaggery. Not too long ago, for instance, there was this chain-like activity thing on fb where people listed their favorite books and tagged others to share theirs. It was basically people sharing with one another their lists of favorite books. One chap listed books by Dostoyevsky, Hemingway, Proust, and other fancy-shmancy writers whom I’m betting he’s only just been made aware of after typing ‘greatest writers’ on google, something he likely did a moment before, explicitly for the purpose of drawing up a list that’ll impress people, and maybe showcase whatever hard-won education. Now, of course, for all I know, he may have really read all of that, and may in fact be the literary connoisseur he purports himself to be, but somehow, in no small part because of his previous unintelligible rantings, I’m more than a bit doubtful.

Another is the people I often see, again in and around social media, claiming they can’t help being grammar nazis, and then proceeding to correct people’s wrong spelling or grammar in a manner that can only be said to be grammatically incorrect. Well, funny that. Who even gives a marsupial’s behind whether someone used wrong grammar? It should suffice that you knew what he intended to say, you pompous bastard.

Or how about those self-righteous vegans, or vegetarians, or whatever the hell they call themselves these days, who think animals are humans’ equal. They’re not. I like my steak. And while it’s all good to advocate against the unneccessary torture of animals, your refusal to eat meat doesn’t make you better than me, or, for that matter, anyone else. What these people have in common, really, is that they’re all about advertising how awesome they are.

It’s trite stuff, I know. We all encounter people like these. Especially since social media gives them a platform to spread their inanity far and wide. The point is.. actually, there is no point.. I was waiting for a download and had zero to do. So this. But, yeah — thanks, Mark Zuckerberg.


Posted on December 4, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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