Whining About Facebook Whiners.

One thing about facebook that is particularly annoying is when people post –without the slightest bit of hesitation– short and tediously hortatory tirades about things nobody really cares about. Sure, some people will click the ‘like’ button, or will offer a cheerleading comment or two, egging for you to keep going. But, really, for the most part, nobody cares. Nobody cares about that stranger for whom your mini-diatribe was dedicated, and for what he did — which you’ve laboriously laid out in detail– that’s irked you so much.

You’ve got to be a special kind of narcissist to truly believe anyone actually gives two turds about the fleeting and inconsequential banalities that annoy you during the day. Any sufficiently civilized individual isn’t going to be bobbing his head in approval over your pompous and sermonizing verbal attacks on people who aren’t in the least bit interesting insofar as they’re existence isn’t of any considerable import to the lives of anyone else.

I’m reminded of this one time when a friend (no longer in my friends list) wrote, as her status update, a substantially long invective about some cash registrar who kept asking her questions about her credit card. I was tempted to respond with “cry me a frigging river.” The only thing she was able to achieve with that snotty castigation is a reduced estimation of her by those friends of hers who fell at the higher end of the intelligence bell curve. If you have to whine about someone, or about how bad you *felt* about some situation, you could at least be pithy about it.

What’s worse than the facebook whiner is the incessant facebook whiner. Really, are you so depressed and is your life so mundane that you have to compensate by whining about everything and be telling everyone about it? That peevish snivelling, as you really ought to know, is only succeeding in making you look like a sanctimonious prick who needs to be unfriended like the conspicuous, pus-filled anal wart that you are.

What’s worse than an incessant facebook whiner? The grammatically challenged, incessant facebook whiner. Seriously, educate yourself before making  mindless declamations. The fact that your harangue is a bit more difficult to understand makes it, to that slight extent, more annoying. Although it may on occasion give people a good laugh at your expense, if done too much, it will take everything they have not to pepper spray you in the face.

Bottomline: if it’s anything that will not profit anyone in any conceivable way, then it’s likely better left unsaid.

(I know, this is also a diatribe. But this is also a blog, so it doesn’t count. So shut up.)

Why We Hate Twilight, And Find It Fun In So Doing.

Erika Christakis, in her article for Time, writes that Twilight-haters are harsh bigots.

Erika Christakis doesn’t get it, actually. It’s not that “female fantasy is derided and feared” at all; it’s that this particular “fantasy” incorporates the sort of vapidness that appeals to, shall we say, the more sophomoric segment of the population.

There’s no denying that the movie is horrible by any respectable metric. The dialogue is senselessly asinine; how anyone can stomach more of Edward Cullen’s ridiculously overly amorous one-liners like “Last night was the best night of my existence” or “Let’s start with forever” is seriously mind-boggling. I mean, that kind of drivel should be all well and fine if laid out with a bit more parsimony. It’s been overdone. After those previous Twilight movies where Edward Cullen mouths off like a preternatural Don Juan, while sporting the expression of someone who’s going through labor, it’s now become vomit-inducing.

Taylor Lautner is a terrible actor. That guy has one expression. Maybe 2. He, rather laughably, turns into a wolf who’s as badass as a Teletubby. (Why didn’t they make them like the wolves in Underworld? Those were badass.) I’d rather squeeze Taylor’s wolf cheeks for being so cute than run away. The best thing about him in this movie is that he didn’t take his shirt off as much as he did in the last one. Sure, there’s a market for that kind of crap, but it slightly tells you this guy doesn’t have much going for him, acting-wise.

Bella, played by Kristen Stewart, is as dull as a doorknob. This fact further demonstrates the illogic of the movie; it isn’t clear to me how a vampire –or any rational agent for that matter– who’s ostensibly been able to live long enough to know a couple things, could take a liking for this sullenly ill-humored girl, who’s only slightly more entertaining to look at than paint drying.

The whole concept of vampires sparkling in the sun is awful. It’s really dumb. Why the author of this series thought this idea made any sense is beyond me. Calling the idea of sparkling vampires cheesy and corny is to be unfair to all the things in history those words were used to describe, putting them well below where anyone would’ve taken them.

The intermittent camera play on the handsomeness of the 2 lead male characters –while visually pleasing for 13-yr-olds– seems worthy of ridicule as it summarizes the whole fantasy quite succinctly; 2 charming, good-looking and unrealistically anti-sexual young men falling head-over-heels for an average girl who’s hot in some not unreachable way.

Don’t get me wrong. If you dig all that, then that’s fine. But, people rightly deride this movie for being the kind of paltry tripe that appeals to girls’ base fantasies in much the same way a movie about bikini-clad ninjas doing work more fitting for seal-team-six would to the fantasies of their male counterparts.

Paul Ryan Explains How Higher Taxes Hurt Job Creation

GOP budget guru, Paul Ryan, gives a cogent explanation of how raising taxes
hurts job creation.

What would be interesting is how he can justify his party wanting to reduce  government spending while supporting what would now amount to 5 foreign wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and Uganda. Hopefully he could also enlighten Americans on how they can be confident that such contradictory positions —  such as the one above– can help job creation without requiring an epic  suspension of disbelief.

I think Paul Ryan is right; more taxes will hurt job creation. But the problem is that the stench of hypocrisy is getting quite noticeable –and that’s putting it mildly– in that the GOP is scarcely consistent in its views on everything else that has a direct effect on the economy and thus on job creation. In the tax debate, no matter how sensible and cogent they exposit their position, minds won’t be won because their outright mendacity does not go down well.

The Thorn In Palin’s Behind.

When God made Levi in the mold of life, he must’ve put in some extra dumb juice.

The loon is out with yet another tell-all book about the Palins –yknow, those nut heads from Alaska– which he says is an answer to ex-girlfriend Bristol’s book “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far” .

Nobody asked, but Levi gave an idea anyway of what his sad, pathetic, dysfunctional brain came up with for the book:

1. He and Bristol were sexually active much earlier than Bristol would like to admit.

2. Bristol wanted a child because she was jealous of Palin’s pregnancy with Trig.

3. Todd Palin, upon learning of Bristol’s pregnancy, told Levi to quit school and get a job.

4. Sarah had intentions of adopting Levi and Bristol’s kid to avoid a scandal.

5. Levi was present at his child’s birth, contrary to Sarah’s claims.

6. Levi denies getting another girl pregnant, contrary to Bristol’s claims.

And, apparently, there’s more hogwash like the above in this book which he’ll be keeping a secret for now, so you’ll just have to buy it upon its release to find out. Oh, Levi, we wait with baited anticipation.

Comparing Levi’s book to cow shit would be an insult to cow shit. At least cow shit can be used to fertilize the soil, whereas Levi’s book only succeeds in making one question what the world is coming to.

Although a persuasive argument can be made that a circus chimp on a typewriter could have written something slightly more appealing to normal sensibilities, what’s surprising, however, is that, where we all once thought Levi was only theoretically capable of reciting the alphabet, for this book, he’s at least, on occasion, been able to put some words together while eschewing incoherence.

Apparently, this rancid stink may be unavailable at most bookstores. Levi assures us, however, that it will be available in a select few, and advices to just follow the people in tin foil hats.

This guy should get a real job and stop milking his 15 minutes to the last drop. Better yet, he should go back to whatever hell-hole in Alaska he was able to worm his way out from. Or maybe, he could wear that deer antler like the demented animal that he is, prance around the hunting areas of Alaska and get himself shot –that would save America a few I.Q. points.

Catherine Hakim Writes A Whole Book On How To Be Stupid

Catherine Hakim, author of Erotic Capital, wants women to use physical attractiveness to get ahead in their careers. She says in an interview:

“Discrimination is part of life itself.  [...] We discriminate between good restaurants and bad restaurants. We discriminate between people who are intelligent and stupid. We discriminate between people who are competent politicians and incompetent politicians. We discriminate between people who are attractive and unattractive.”

That we do. But there’s an obvious fallacy lurking in there somewhere; isn’t it that when we “discriminate between good..and bad restaurants” we do so precisely among factors that inform our decision to be eating at any restaurant in the first place? We discriminate between “intelligent and stupid” people precisely because stupid people, as opposed to intelligent ones, will ostensibly be less qualified and capable than we might require. In other words, we’re discriminating against the qualities that go against our intentions for choosing one over the other. On the other hand, to discriminate between the attractive and the ugly should add no value given that physical attractiveness has no bearing on how someone can and will perform in the workplace.

A woman using sex to get ahead of a man, careerwise, is analogous to a man using physical force to do the same.

Catherine essentially wants people to think as superficially as she does; since men, on average, find it easier getting up on the corporate ladder, she’ll suggest, to even out the playing field, it’s perfectly fine for women to leave their brains out the door and show some cleavage instead. Catherine thinks she’s empowering women, but in reality she’s doing the opposite.

She’s no doubt pleased with the sheer lunacy that is the cast of Jersey Shore, the Kardashians, and people like Heidi Montag, who, despite their idiotic interiors, are somehow able to get by on physicality alone. (Well, maybe not the cast of Jersey Shore.)

Then again, maybe this is all just the kind of tongue-in-cheek, agent-provocateur type of nonsense authors tend to do nowadays to get attention to their books. One wonders how she was able to stretch this childish ideology into a whole book. It must be one hell of an intellectual lobotomization.

Bill Keller, Another Nut Bag.

What’s the difference between Christianity and a belief in space aliens? Apparently, there is none, according to Bill Keller, the executive editor of the New York Times. He writes:

“If a candidate for president said he believed that space aliens dwell among us, would that affect your willingness to vote for him? Personally, I might not disqualify him out of hand; one out of three Americans believe we have had Visitors and, hey, who knows? But I would certainly want to ask a few questions. Like, where does he get his information? Does he talk to the aliens? Do they have an economic plan? [...]Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann are both affiliated with fervid subsets of evangelical Christianity — and Rick Santorum comes out of the most conservative wing of Catholicism — which has raised concerns about their respect for the separation of church and state, not to mention the separation of fact and fiction.”

Because we all know space aliens have just about as much existential relevance as God.

God, on the Christian view, is only the creator and ontological ground of morality and all being. Space aliens are little green men with protruding foreheads. Obviously there’s not much difference between the two. Bill is a Genius.

Somebody lend this guy a brain.

GOP Candidates Debate. Hillarity, Then Pain, Ensues.

If you missed the Iowa GOP debate, you’re lucky. But if you insist on chastizing yourself some more, this piece might make you sufficiently propitiated by showing you the kind of idiocy that had transpired. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised about the brain-numbing responses that were given. It’s likely America has collectively lost somewhere in the range of 2 I.Q. points for having been subjected to this inane departure from reality, which, under normal circumstances, could have only been justified as a carefully scripted piece of performance art.

One of the more notable things the audience had the misfortune of witnessing was Bachmann’s utterly senseless assertion “In the last two months I was leading on the issue of not increasing the debt ceiling. That turned out to be the right answer”. Ofcourse, this left the audience members, who fall at the higher end of the intelligence bell curve, with wide gaping jaws of incredulity.

I don’t think any of the candidates won. They’ve all accomplished the opposite of what they’ve intended to do –which was to seem like they had some idea on what the hell they were talking about. But, I guess if winning in this instance meant succeeding in making yourself look comparably less of an ass, then Romney won.

U.S. Congress Is A Fail.

Forget about those private jet riding CEO’s of Wall Street, the blame for this whole disaster lies soley on the pinheads at congress.

Standard & Poor has downgraded the United States of America’s credit rating primarily because it felt that Washington isn’t serious about adjusting its fiscal policies to address and align revenues with liabilities. S&P believes these fiscal
gaps that were created during the last recession will still be a problem for the U.S. in the long term. And it’s not like these drawn out conclusions are unjustified given the whole charade that went on in congress these past few days, having only reached an agreement on the debt crisis at the last minute.

Make no mistake about it, the U.S. is in another recession. And if anyone should get a metaphorical lynching, it should be the members of this lame-duck congress. Republicans don’t want tax increases, Democrats don’t want entitlement reform, accusations of sabotage are being thrown about, spittle
flying left and right, nobody can agree to anything till the last minute. The resultant face palming by the American people as a response to the whole ignominious fail sent sound vibrations all the way to the S&P which then decided to issue a downgrade. Adding to the hopelessness is the fact that S&P had Enron at AAA even as it was going bankrupt, making one wonder exactly how deep in fecal matter the United States financial situation is in for it to have been withheld the AAA rating.

Ladies and gentlemen, the shit has now hit the proverbial fan. You know who to thank.

Feminists Can Be Funny.

Nothing will ever be quite as successful in focusing people’s attention to the lamentable plight of feminazis, er.. I mean feminists, like a good-ol slut-walk.

It should be manifestly obvious to any sufficiently intelligent person that walking along the street in full slut-gear will aid in the undoing of gender expectations that are harmful to women.

Why, it’s pretty clear that the best way to end sexist stereotypes is by glorifying misogynistic terms like “slut”.

Nevermind the critics, you feminazis, er..I mean feminists, should walk around with your ass-cracks in plain view to bring home the message that women have a right to dress however which way they please and be free from objectification.

No, this whole thing isn’t stupid at all! Really!

(Being sarcastic. It clearly is.)

NASA Evidence Undermines Global Warming Alarmism

This is why people shouldn’t immediately dismiss climate-change skeptics as uninformed blockheads. There is evidence that humans have some fault, but none that’s of the hard variety. I think, among us average chaps, the reasonable position to hold with respect to this whole issue is that of an agnostic. While I’m tending to believe we humans do contribute to climate change, whether this contribution is significant and whether we have the ability to make an atom of difference about it by driving around in Priuses is another matter.

In the meantime, global-warming alarmists, if they want to be taken seriously, really ought to tone down the fear-mongering a bit in the face of this new evidence.